


Reading Into The Past Part 1

by jasmineisland



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 13:28:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jasmineisland/pseuds/jasmineisland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: This picks up after Sacrifice, and now that S9 has premiered it's AU. The trials are over, and, even though the gates of hell aren't closed, for the first time Sam and Dean are truly on the same page. They have a real home in the batcave, and have formed a relationship that makes them both happy. But it’s been a long, hard road to get there full of secrets, miscommunication, and manipulation from both sides. When Charlie opens the door to their virtual life, meaning the rest of the books online and the small community that knows they are real, they are shocked by the way they were both truly played. It gives them an insight to each other that goes a long  way towards healing old hurts. They manage to clear the air, figure out just how bad and worse the options they had to choose from really were, and they find each other in a whole new way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sex with Sam was intense. Always. The single-minded OCD tendencies that dug out every detail of a hunt were absolutely mind blowing when your body was the sole focus of all that attention. He had a way of being hyperaware of every inch of his own body and Dean’s, mapping out those inches to draw all of the pleasure he could. And that was before the actual act of sex, which was an entire chapter all by itself. He knew how big he was (smug bastard), and whenever he topped he refused to actually get around to fucking Dean until he knew the older man was ready. Not that he wasn’t willing to participate in a little rough play. Dean enjoyed eyeing the bites and bruises in the shape of those large hands on his hips in the mirror for days after. But those were more of the unconscious intensity he had. And, if he was going to be honest, Dean was completely onboard with it.

But there were times, especially after a hunt where Dean got to blast, blow up, and/or burn something, that, even as intense as it was, he was too impatient for slow. Which is what led them to where they were now; fresh off a good old-fashioned salt -and –burn, Sam on his knees, the words “Dean,” “Harder,” “Fuck,” “There,” “Jesus,” and “Gonna come” running as a single word, getting louder every time his brother got the angle just right. At that moment, it was not on Dean’s mind, but he’d had to be careful with his little brother. Where Sam refused to enter Dean’s body until he was sure he wasn’t going to hurt his brother, the younger man was beyond absent-minded when it came to his own pain. Sam liked it rough on these kinds of nights, which Dean was grateful for, but he had a habit of wanting the pain a little too much for the older man’s comfort. Maybe it was a remnant of the cage; maybe it was a reminder of when he’d needed pain to bring him out of his Lucifer-hallucinations. But Dean suspected there was still some semblance of Sam that wanted the pain as some sort of penance. And that, he wasn’t okay with. He’d never forget the one time Sam had urged him on for a quick, satisfying fuck, only to discover that he’d actually made his little brother bleed for two days. No matter how many times Sam had told him it was okay, it wasn’t. So Dean had figured out the fine line between splitting his brother open bloody and prepping him just enough that it would give Sam the pain he craved without the physical damage.

And wasn’t that the story of their lives. Dean finding the line between big brother and father, brother and lover. Sometimes it was a lot of work. God knows being in Sam’s life was 50% keeping things from killing him and 50% keeping Sam from killing himself.

But right now, the only thing on his mind was taking care of Sammy in a whole other way. Driving so hard into him that they were literally sliding across the floor, Dean kept a hand firmly wrapped in his hair. When Sam lifted a hand to grip his own throbbing erection, they both almost fell over.

The older Winchester dropped his upper body on that broad back to force Sam to catch them with both arms. “Just me.”

The words were literally growled softly, sending a shiver through the younger man. Dean hadn’t thought it was possible, but his balls actually pulled tighter to his body and he knew he was at the end of his stamina. With one last yank on the long hair, he dug his hips into Sam’s ass, making sure he slammed into that spot that made the man under him spasm so that it felt like Dean was about to be thrown off.  The tight heat he’d been sliding in and out of so easily now clamped down on him so hard he actually couldn’t breathe for a moment. When his breath returned, it was in big gulps of air, accompanied by a white-out of his vision. His orgasm seemed to take over his entire body and he literally collapsed onto Sam.

With a strength Dean was amazed he still possessed, Sam lowered them to the ground. For a few seconds, tremors racked both of their bodies until the younger man finally managed to wheeze. “Crushin’ me, dude.”

Gently, Dean pulled out of the limp body below him and rolled over. “Jesus Christ.”

“Sam will do.” Rolling over, he smirked at his brother.

_Smug bastard._

“Just for that, you’re cleaning up the floor.” They’d ended up yanking the blanket off the bed onto the floor in Sam’s room, and when the younger man came, he literally shot across himself, the blanket, and onto concrete floor. Dean forced himself to sit up. “Shower.”

“Then food?”

“’course.” Just to be an asshole, Dean slapped his brother’s stomach, smashing the now cooling come into a bigger blob on the tan skin.  
Squirming under the older man’s hand, Sam scratched at the flaking mess and shrugged. “If that’s your version of comeplay, you’re doing it wrong.”

Even as the taller man stood and walked towards the shower, Dean shook his head. “Got a kink there I don’t know about?”

“Not into playing with it.” As he disappeared into the shower, Sam threw a parting shot at his brother that he knew would make the older man’s spent dick twitch a bit. “More into swallowing it.”

  
The silence that answered made Sam’s laugh echo through the batcave.

  


  
Just as Dean put plates on the table, his brother appeared. He pretended to ignore the green eyes that were traveling over his still damp bare chest and moved to the fridge. With a smirk, Sam bent over to get a beer off the bottom shelf. There were plenty on the top, but by bending over, the old sweats he was wearing slid down just past the top of his ass so that when he stood up, they were on the brink of falling past his hipbones.

Dean’s eyes followed the soft wisps of his brother’s happy trail as it disappeared into the sweatpants. When he realized Sam had stopped moving, he looked up into that smirk again.

“Smug bastard.” Two could play at that game. Moving quickly, Dean gripped the wet hair and tugged the taller man’s face down so he could kiss him. He knew exactly how to swipe his tongue through that hot mouth to make his brother moan. With a smirk of his own, Dean reached inside the waist band to stroke him once before moving away.

“Not gonna leave me hanging here, are you?”

“Food first, Sammy.” Taking a bite of his sandwich, he literally sauntered back over to his brother. “Then…. I remember you saying something about swallowing? Maybe before I throw you down and ride you until you scream?”

“Jesus.” If the loose-fitting sweats had been jeans, Sam’s dick could have busted the zipper out by now. Dean knew giving blowjobs got him almost as hot as getting one, but the thought of sinking into his brother’s ass for the second act? Yeah, almost blew his load right there. “And I’M the smug bastard?” He gave up on any pretense and just gave his raging hard on a squeeze through the soft material to maintain control over it. Before Dean could move in for more torture, Sam flopped into a chair and pulled his plate closer.  “Food first.”

For a few minutes, Dean was content to sit back and watch his brother devour his cooking. For so long, Sam was barely eating enough to keep himself alive. The trials stripped him of his strength, energy, and nearly his ability to function at all. But he pushed through, forcing himself to move through the trials, determined to shut the gates of hell. Dean didn’t want to think about the last trial, where keeping Sam from killing himself had jumped to 100%. His mind kept going back to Sam’s confession, and he still reeled from his baby brother’s words. They’d had their issues, but to find out that his brother really believed he’d chosen Cas or Benny over him?

Part of him wanted desperately to talk to Sam about it, which went against everything in Dean by itself. Even though he had to admit that the whole Winchester way of NOT talking was a large part of why the Apocalypse had almost happened in the first place. Maybe if he’d dealt with his brother’s insecurities back then, things would have been different. Problem was, every time he thought about the conversation at the church without the whole “Sam’s killing himself” desperation, the sight of his brother leaving the hotel with Ruby went through his mind and he got angry all over again. He might have turned to an angel or a vampire, but Ruby was a goddamned demon. Three fucking years later, and he still got pissed about that. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew it was past time to get over it. God knows Sam had paid for it. And paid, and paid, and then paid some more. And he also knew that it gave anything that had access to his mind an advantage. Fucking specter had almost shot Sammy and used it to torment the kid. Along with a litany of other ‘sins’ he felt his brother had committed. Which was probably a huge step towards the confession during the third trial. One giant ass-kicking, bullet-in-the-face message to Sam that he needed to die so he didn’t let Dean down.  That he needed to pay some more.

Dean’s mind was so lost in thought he didn’t realize Sam was calling his name.

“Sorry?”

“Man, where were you?”

“Thinking about that whole swallowing thing.”

It was weak, and Sam obviously didn’t believe him, but, to Dean’s relief, the younger man nodded and went back to his meal. But the way he had been literally attacking the food was gone. Taking a few more bites, Sam leaned back and pushed the plate away. The look on his older brother’s face had him worried. Like there was something going on that Dean didn’t want him to know. Like there was another shoe about to drop, when, for the first time in years, he had thought they were happy. Okay, first time in forever, the younger man had thought they were both happy.

Before either of them could comment on the sudden mood change at the table, Dean’s phone rang. Following the sound of the ring, Dean moved to the library and found it on the table. Sam stayed where he was, halfway trying to listen to his brother’s end of the conversation, even though the voice was too low to hear. While he was alone at the table, Sam tried desperately to convince himself that he was being paranoid. His relationship with Dean was better than it had ever been since his older brother had dragged him out of the church. They’d hauled ass back to the batcave, where Dean had promptly put him to bed and waited on him hand and foot until he was able to get up on his own. And it had been a long two weeks, the light flowing through him, bringing a burning pain that told Sam everything the trials had done to him was slowly being undone. He’d wondered, more than once, if it had meant that he once again had demon blood free-flowing through his veins. But the truth was,  he’d been terrified to voice that fear to his brother. The thought of what he imagined Dean’s expression would be kept him awake at night, even as his older brother slept against him.

Over days after the trials, Dean had taken to sleeping in his room, watching him closely, terrified that whatever was happening to him was going to kill him. And for the first time in years, Sam was determined to live. He didn’t like to see his older brother so upset, but the memory of Dean literally begging him to let Crowley go and live was the only thing that kept him fighting whatever was happening to him. Finally, after one particularly bad night, complete with a seizure that he had no memory of, he woke with Dean’s arms holding him tightly against his chest. Instead of awkwardly pushing away from his brother and struggling through on his own, he’d turned into him and wrapped his arms around the older man.

It seemed to be the sign his brother was waiting for. From that night on, it wasn’t even a question. Dean climbed into Sam’s bed and held him like he had when they were kids. From there it had been a short series of awkward morning wood between them, which led to a hesitant touch and, finally, the physical relationship that neither had even bothered to suggest since Dean disappeared with Dick Roman almost two years ago.

Staring around the kitchen, Sam sighed. This was better than it had ever been between them. Before Dean had been sent to Purgatory, they had only managed to steal short periods here and there to really connect with each other. Cas going darkside, being the most wanted on the Leviathan hit list, Bobby dying, Dean’s turn at suicidal revenge, and Lucifer crashing through Sam’s head had become much more important than a satisfying sex life.

The years before that were a series of events that Sam would just as soon forget forever. Him being soulless, being a demon blood addict, hooking up with Ruby, all things he wished with everything in him he could go back and change. Even though he knew he couldn’t. The things he’d done- the _CHOICES_ he’d made, had done irreparable damage to his relationship with his brother.  
Dean loved him. He knew that now. He wasn’t sure why that was true, but he was grateful for it. The problem was that love, trust, and forgiveness were on completely different continents. He would always wonder how much that fucking specter had said through Dean was the specter and how much was Dean. He suspected 99% Dean. Clean slates were bullshit, and even though he had a strong feeling that he would never hear a list of his _CHOICES_ from his brother again, that list would be etched in Dean’s heart for a long time, if not forever.

  


“Hey.” A soft voice accompanied gentle fingers brushing through his hair. “You okay?” The look on Sam’s face when Dean entered the kitchen had scared him. The younger man looked like he was about to burst out crying.

“Yeah.” Reaching out, he wrapped one long arm around Dean’s waist and pulled him close. When the older man got close enough Sam leaned his forehead against his stomach.

It both warmed his heart and terrified Dean when his brother suddenly got so clingy. The fact that Sam still sought comfort from him was humbling, but the fact that he needed that comfort worried Dean. “What’s wrong?”

Shaking his head, he just held on tighter. “I’m fine.”

The older Winchester hooked a chair with his ankle and dragged it over so he could sit down and face his brother. “If last night was too much, tell me. You gotta tell me the truth.”

There it was again. Dean requesting the truth like he didn’t expect it from him. It hurt. Jesus Christ, did it hurt. Desperate for his brother to believe him, Sam moved to straddle his legs, facing him. “It wasn’t. I swear.” He kissed the older man. “I was just thinking-“

“You spend way too much time thinking, Sammy.”

With a sigh, the taller man started to pull away.

That last thing Dean had wanted was to see those hazel eyes drop to the floor and his brother close himself off. “I’m kidding.” He held Sam’s waist so the younger Winchester couldn’t get away. “Talk to me.”

“We’re good, right?”

Not sure where that had come from, Dean nodded. “Better than I think we’ve ever been, Sammy.” He leaned up to kiss his brother. “But we’re gonna have to take a raincheck on that second act. Charlie was on the phone. She wants to come up here for a couple days. Apparently talking to us wasn’t enough and she wants to make- and I quote- sure we weren’t handing her a load of dren when we told her we were okay.” He shrugged. “Whatever the fuck that means.”

Sam just laughed. “She’s already got a good grip of the Winchester definition of okay. So why the raincheck?” Twisting his hips, Sam literally ground down on his brother’s crotch and laughed when he got a soft moan in response.

“Because Charlie is about an hour away. She’s really worried about you.”

“And?” Sam stood, pulling his brother with him. “I figure about 4 minutes for the blow job, 20 minutes of you riding me, leaves us 30 to shower and get dressed.”

A hand crossed the back of the taller man’s head sharply.

“That a crack on my stamina?”

“Nope.” Sam shook his head. “Just a statement of fact regarding my skills, dude.”

Dean stopped short and glared. “Smug fucking bastard.”

“You’ve said that already.”

The sight of his brother’s entire face lighting up from the smile on it made Dean forget any joke at his expense.  But he was still a Winchester, which meant he couldn’t let the challenge go unanswered. “20 for the blowjob and 4 for the riding, dude.”

“You’re on.” Sam was naked before they hit the bedroom door. Even as Dean crossed the threshold, his brother was yanking his shirt up with one hand and yanking his zipper down with the other.

“Pushy much?”

“Clock’s ticking.” Still laughing, the younger man shoved his brother down on the bed and climbed up between those bowed legs. For a moment, he simply eyes the various bites and bruises he’d left on Dean the night before. There were even a few bites at the sharp edge of his hips that Sam didn’t remember leaving, but it looked like a very good place to start again. He ran his tongue along the hard ridge of bone, laughing again when Dean squirmed.

“Like fucking a cat, Sammy. Where’d you get that licking fetti- holy fuck.” The tongue that was tickling him suddenly flattened against his dick and swiped a path from the base to the tip. Before Dean could draw a breath, his brother went for the gold.

“Jesus….fucking……..Sammy…….” He looked down, convinced if he could see the younger man’s neck he’d see a bulge from his dick being halfway down Sam’s throat.  The heat constricted even more a couple times as his brother actually swallowed around him. Unsure how he was going to hold out for 30 seconds, much less 4 minutes, Dean bit his lip.

Pulling back, Sam sucked hard on just the tip for a second before changing the game up a bit. He shifted to give himself more room and gently pushed a well-lubed finger up his brother’s ass and went right for the bundle of nerves that made his brother actually yelp and thrust up into his mouth. Sam knew Dean was going to ride him fast and hard, so he twisted his finger around a bit and slid a second finger in gently to stretch the tight muscles. He wasn’t going to let his brother hurt himself to prove a point. Another Winchester trait he was well acquainted with.

Dean was gripping the top of the headboard so hard his knuckles were white and he drew in deep breaths of air trying desperately to hold out against the overwhelming urge to shoot down his brother’s throat right fucking now.

Giving him a chance to adjust, Sam licked softly at the precome leaking profusely from the tip of the engorged cock in front of him. The instant Dean’s breaths evened out, it was on again. As much as he wanted to drag those high pitched, very unmanly yelps- not that he’d say that outloud; he liked his nose in one piece, thank you very much- out of his brother, he was determined to make the man under him scream. Three fingers inched past the muscle, scissoring gently, and he sucked softly on Dean for about 10 seconds. Just as the older man found the rhythm, it was over. Sam cupped Dean’s balls in one hand, shoved his fingers in as hard and as far as he could while literally swallowing his brother’s dick simultaneously. The action had the desired effect. Dean’s body literally curled in half, hips thrusting even farther down that tight throat while he gripped the long hair and held him still. For a second, the younger man’s body spasmed from the harsh intrusion down his throat, but he allowed his brother to hold his head. Sam didn’t have to wait long. With the lack of oxygen, it seemed like longer, but in actual time it wasn’t 15 seconds until he was choking on the hot come shooting down his throat. But what really made him almost lose control himself was that yelp he loved turning into a complete ‘don’t bother even trying to say it didn’t happen’ shriek that came out of his brother’s mouth. Somewhere in the midst of the sound and the echo that followed, it sounded a little like Sam’s name. With a ‘fuck’ or possibly a ‘son of a bitch’ thrown in.

By the time Dean was spent, flat on his back and panting, there were starbursts in the younger brother’s vision from lack of oxygen. Gently, he moved off and out of his brother before took a few deep breaths and flopped down next to him.

“3 minutes 27 seconds.”

A hand flopped weakly on his chest. “Bullshit, bitch.”

“Wasn’t 4 minutes, jerk.” Proud of himself, Sam just grinned at his brother.

“Gotta…. Fuck. I’ll give ya that round.” Dean was still panting for air.

“So….” Turning his head, Sam stared at his brother. “Do we need to add 10 minutes for recovery time for you?” He stroked his own erection a few times, more to let the older man know it was still there and waiting for him. “Or should I just take care of this myself?”

“I don’t think so.” He really didn’t believe there was a chance in hell he was going to get hard again, but the older Winchester forced himself to sit up. If he didn’t follow through, Sam would raise his smug bastard factor by about 200%. Not that  climbing on that amazing body and sinking down on that fucking flagpole his brother called his dick was a hardship.It was just that, after a really good orgasm, Dean’s body felt like it had been put through the ringer. Coordination was more of a memory, and he wasn’t sure he’d manage to actually pull off the whole riding thing. But he was a Winchester, and he’d fall over out cold before he’d give up.

Taking a deep breath, Dean forced himself to sit up. “Saddle up, bitch.”

Sam knew what a good orgasm did to his brother, but he just laid back and smiled.

A sudden impulse hit the older man and he grinned. Moving a lot quicker than his body actually wanted him to, he sat up. “Start the clock.” Swinging his leg over his brother, he surprised the younger man by putting his back to him before impaling himself roughly.  
“Jesus Christ.” Sam had to bite his lip to the point of bleeding to stop from losing it the second he was buried to the hilt in Dean’s body.  
Grinning, Dean used the long legs stretched out in front of him for leverage and literally rode him, leaning up so the prone man would get a good view of where that large cock disappeared into his ass. Sam couldn’t not look and his brother knew it. Sam snapped his hips up a couple times, burying himself completely, but he couldn’t resist touching.

The instant Dean felt those long fingers skirting around where they were joined, he knew he had his brother. Using his thighs, he raised his body, but only dropped down enough to leave room for those fingers. With a shove, he parted Sam’s thighs enough to get his hand between them and reached down to fondle his balls roughly. A loud moan echoed in the room and Dean shifted a bit to give himself more room to work, but then his brother’s cock slammed into his prostrate on the down thrust and he jolted. His body slammed down inadvertently trapping his brother’s hand between them, but Sam’s entire body literally shivered, and he went with it. The burn in his thighs was like fire, but he spread his legs as far as he could and still get some leverage to move. This allowed him to part Sam’s legs a bit farther and he reached down lower.

Sam couldn’t breathe. Every muscle in his body was screaming to let go right that second. His fingers were pinned between them, he could feel his own and his brother’s bodies where they were joined, and the tight heat engulfing him was already more than enough to send him over. But when he felt the hand tugging on his balls, he spread his legs as far as he could and didn’t even try to contain the sounds coming from what felt like his toes. Beyond any kind of coherent words, he keened and moved his hips as far up as he could on every down thrust from above.

Dean’s thighs were going on strike. Literally. They were straining, not unlike his dick, which was valiantly trying to join in again. But he ignored all of it, intent on getting Sam off as hard as he could as fast as he could. From the sounds coming from behind him, he knew he was close to getting there. He had to keep one hand on the bed beside them for leverage and he was sorry he had to do that, but he slid the other hand below his brother’s balls to the sensitive skin behind them and pushed.

“Dean!” Slamming up into his brother again, Sam knew he was done. It wasn’t going to take much  more. And there it was, the tip of his brother’s finger pushing into him.

Pain was shooting up Dean’s legs, and the position was awkward as hell, but when Sam’s entire body jerked he knew it was worth it.  
Sam’s back arched so hard it was painful as his brains literally shot out of his dick and into his brother. For what seemed to be about thirty seconds, it didn’t even feel like he could breathe. Every muscle in his body stretched to its limit and he finally drew in a gasping breath.

By that time Dean was sliding off of him and collapsing next to him on the bed. Several minutes passed while they both just gasped and stared at each other. Dean couldn’t speak, but the shit eating grin on his face said it all.

“Guess we’re tied.” Sam finally managed to get it out.

“Yep.”

A few more breaths, and Sam looked over at the clock. “We’re gonna have to move shortly.”

“Yep.”

Laughing, Sam forced himself to sit up. “That all you got?”

“Yep.”

“Asshole.” He stood and went into the shower again.

Dean wanted to follow him, but he knew if he joined his brother they’d still be there when Charlie arrived. So he waited until he heard the water shut off before he dragged himself off the bed.

[PART 2](http://jasmineisland.livejournal.com/24629.html)   



	2. Chapter 2

  
By the time Dean got out of the shower, Sam was sitting in the kitchen with Charlie. It took Dean about four seconds to realize they were eating pie. With a sarcastic grin, Sam offered him a pie tin with one piece of pie left in it.

“You son of-“

Charlie broke out laughing. “He said you say that. You honestly think I’d let him eat your entire pie?” With a flourish, she produced another box. “You have your own.”

Catching the fork his brother tossed his way, Dean smiled and sat down. “That’s more like it.” As he took his first bite, he moaned. “This is delicious.”

“Sam recommended the place. Said they’re the only ones that can make pie that truly makes you happy.” Charlie looked at them for a moment, smiling.

“What?” They both turned to her.

Now she laughed. “You both just look so much better than you did the last time I saw you.” The two Winchesters actually smiling at her just made her laugh harder.

“I wasn’t exactly at my best the last time I saw you. I was more at my freakin’ worst.” Sam shrugged.

“Death warmed over and twice heated looked better than you the last time I saw ya, Sam.”

The younger Winchester knew Dean had filled her in on the details of the third trial and he shrugged. “Felt like it.”

Standing, Charlie took the plates to the sink.

“Charlie, don’t worry about that.”

“Not worried.” She moved back towards her chair, but stopped briefly behind Sam to wrap her arms around him. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

Sam closed his eyes to avoid showing the emotion that suddenly choked him. Leaning his head back against the woman, he reached up and gripped her arms gently as they squeezed him.

Silently, Dean watched the exchange with a smile. Charlie was the second person to tell Sam she was glad he was okay. The second of a whopping total of two. Kevin had been livid that Sam had failed at closing the gates of hell. Even though it meant he would die, Kevin felt that his mother and girlfriend had died for nothing thanks to them. Packing his bag in a fit of temper, his parting shot had been to Sam that he was a selfish bastard who didn’t give a shit about anything but himself. As sick as Sam had been, the look that had put on his face would haunt Dean. He would deal with Kevin later, and after that there was still the matter of the angel tablet. But for now, he just reveled in how relaxed his normally wound-so- tight-he-was-about-to-snap brother was.

The rest of the night had gone very peacefully. Two Harry Potter movies was all Dean could stand, even if it made his little brother and Charlie grin like idiots and exchange running commentary. Every once in a while, Dean thought about the fact that if Charlie hadn’t been there he would have had Sam’s head in his lap by now, his fingers twisting in that mane his brother called hair. But there were also times he looked and he could see the Sammy he was truly in love with and never saw enough of. The one that smiled and actually laughed. Seemed like the kid hadn’t laughed once since passing the six-foot mark. So he watched Sam watch Harry Potter for over four hours. Every once in a while those hazel eyes would turn to him and he couldn’t regret one irritating second of the movie. He did manage to escape for about fifteen minutes at the beginning of the second one to get beer and popcorn. And then he finally allowed himself to drift off about two-thirds into it.

Sharing a laugh with Charlie, Sam leaned over the sleeping man and pulled on his arm gently. “Come on, bro. Bed time.”  
“Fine here.”

“Yeah, don’t think so. Gonna get you to bed so we don’t have to listen to you whine about a crooked neck tomorrow.” With very little cooperation, Sam got Dean on his feet. “Let’s go.” The arm that wasn’t wrapped around the still half-sleeping brother, Sam gestured towards a hallway. “Any room down there’s fine, Charlie.”

As the woman disappeared towards the hallway, the taller Winchester led Dean down the hallway to his bedroom. “Think she’ll notice if we share?”

A little more awake, Dean stood up and tugged on his brother’s shirt. “She might notice there’s only one bed.”

“What do you think?” Sam really didn’t want to sleep alone, but Charlie was a good friend to them and he didn’t want to lose her.  
“I think the next couple of days are gonna suck.” His voice was more of a whine and he reached up to tangle a hand in Sam’s hair. “Gonna have to find some time to sneak away.”

“Definitely.” Leaning down, Sam kissed his brother gently. But the words “Dean” and “gentle” didn’t go together very often. Soon he was against the door jamb Dean’s tongue was mapping out every inch of the inside of his mouth.

Sam was distracted and Dean was half asleep. Neither of them heard the approach of the third person in the bunker. But just as the taller man slid his thigh between his brother’s legs, they heard her voice.

“Sam, I’m sorry. Can you tell me where the…..” Her voice trailed off as she took in the sight of them.

Shoving Sam away, the older man searched his mind for something to say. His very swollen wet lips sitting open, Sam was no help in the situation.

“Oh, my God. Becky was right about you two!”

“Becky?!” Both of them completely forgot the awkward situation the instant they heard that name and they took a step towards her.  
Taking a step back, Charlie shrugged. “Usually it’s really cute when you two talk at the same time, but it’s not really cute when you both sound so pissed off and it’s aimed at me. Actually, it’s kind of scary.”

“You know Becky Rosen?” They almost sounded like one person.

“Again with the stereo.” Charlie sort of laughed nervously. “You know I read all the books. And I was being my obsessed self when I was kind of researching the two of you. So of course I found these websites where people talk about the books and you two. But most of them don’t know they’re talking about you two, you know? They think they’re talking about some characters Carver Edlund made up. SO not his real name, but you already knew that, right? Anyway, of course when I came across the name Rosen-Winchester it caught my attention, since your last names were never in any of the books and no one else seemed to know it-“

“Rosen-Winchester?” Sam ran his hands through his hair and turned to Dean. “She kept my NAME?”

Now wide awake, Dean turned to him. “Well YOU were the one that wouldn’t let me shoot her.”

“Shoot her?” Charlie took another step back. “Not legally. I traced her IP and she lives in Rhode Island. She’s got an apartment and a really lousy job that I would absolutely die if I had to do every day and-“ They were both glaring at her now. “She still uses it on the sites about the books, in chat rooms, and on her website ‘morethanbrothers.net’”

“Morethanbro-“ Their voices took on the same outraged tone.

“You both even stop midsentence at the same time.” Charlie was amazed. “Anyway, I sort of got in touch with her.”

“How do you sort of get in touch with some crazy chick?” Dean crossed his arms and leaned against the wall.

“I mean, I messaged her from a fake IP address I created and mirrored through servers-“

“English!” Dean was losing patience. Becky was under his skin after what she’d done to his brother.

“She thinks she was talking to some woman in Australia that doesn’t exist.” She took a breath. “I messaged her because of the whole Winchester name thingy and she was really excited to find someone else that really likes the two of you. She just said that you’d saved the world and she knew you. I started going through her cache of stuff she’d loaded on the internet, you know, like when you put something out there it’s never really gone, and she’d tried to delete it, but I’m really good at what I do and I found a lot of stuff she’d tried to get rid of.” Another breath and a glance at Sam. “Did you really MARRY her?”

“She mention she hooked up with a fucking demon and roofied him to make him do it?” There was no patience in Dean when it came to that bitch.

Shaking her head, Charlie started again. “She never mentioned the marriage. I found a pic of the license she’d tweeted the day you got- the day she made you- the- when it happened, okay? She tried to delete it but like I said a few minutes ago, once it’s out there, it’s never really gone and I can find anything, so I found it when I was snooping. Of course I cross-checked the Las Vegas records and it’s there. Marriage licenses are public, you know that? I knew you weren’t still married to her, and I found the annulment in public records.”

“Can you get rid of it?” Now Sam was actually thinking.

“Of course I can! I can get rid of the license, the annulment, I can even get rid of her.”

“What?” Both of them were startled at that revelation.

“God, I forget you both carry dozens of guns and are kind of lethal weapons. I don’t mean get RID of her get rid of her. I mean, I can, like, completely wipe her out electronically. Like she doesn’t exist.”

“Like Sandra Bullock in The Net?” The idea sounded really good to Dean.

“Exactly! I can-“

“NO!” Sam glared at the two of them. “We’re not going to ruin her any more than we’re going to shoot her.”

“Sammy, she-“

“I know what she did, Dean. She’s kind of sad, a little pathetic, and it’s over.” His eyes met his brother’s evenly and his voice got soft. “And considering how completely batshit crazy I was, she’s already lucky to be alive. We need to let it go.” He gestured towards the third party in the hallway. “We’ve got something more important going on, here, anyway.”

Charlie was moving away from them and back down the hallway.

Dean stepped closer to her. “Look, Charlie, we’re sorry.”

“Sorry? For what?” She looked like she thought she really was missing something.

“This.” Sam waved between the two of them. “Us. What you walked in on. I mean, we’re just not really used to being careful in here, you know?” The puppy eyes met hers in full force. “If you can’t…. if you don’t want to…. If you leave we’d understand.”

“I’m not leaving! I’m just going to bed.” She turned, and looked back at them. “Oh, I can’t find the light switch. That’s why I came down here looking for you.”

Both of them stared at her for a few seconds silently.

Nervous at their attention, she finally sighed. “Look, my weird meter has really gone off the rails since I met you,” Holding a hand up to about her chin, she continued. “But my kink meter?” The hand moved up above her head. “Up here. Before I ever heard of you two.” She shrugged. “Best porn on the internet is sister acts, ya know? And not the production stuff where they’re just pretending to be sisters- I’m talking about the amateur stuff where they really are sisters.”

Dean nodded and turned to Sam with a grin. “Never thought about it that way, but yeah, she’s right.”

Closing his eyes, the younger man looked like he had absolutely no idea what to say to that analogy. But before he could even begin to form a reply, Charlie continued.

“Besides, read all the books, remember? AND all the critiques, dissertations, opinions, fanfic, and generally tons of stuff about your lives. I mean come . You sell your soul and go to hell for him?” She pointed to Dean. “You go full on darkside and end up throwing yourself into hell for him?” Her finger moved to Sam. “NOT really normal for brotherly love, you know? The books don’t come out and say it, but it’s right there, if you go looking.”

They were both so relieved at her acceptance of their relationship it took them a few moments to process what she said. It was Sam who followed her retreating form down the hallway.

“Wait a second. You said you read about me going darkside and throwing myself into the Pit?” When she nodded, he shook his head. “No, the last book ended with Dean going to hell.”

“No, the last book published in print ended with Dean going to hell. The last book, which was posted right about the time Carver Edlund, or Charles Shurley, or whoever, disappeared. Gone. Still missing, actually. Not that anyone’s actually looking, since he was a bit of a shut in, and he-“

“Charlie.” Sam got her attention focused again. “The last book?”

“Oh yeah. Swan Song.” Charlie nodded. “I think that’s the last one. I mean, I can’t find anymore. And if I can’t find them, they’re not out there.”

“Swan Song?” Sam was afraid to ask. “So the last book is about me….” He took a deep breath. “Jumping into the cage?”

Dean knew his brother would do anything to avoid talking about that period in his life… death… whatever. But the title seemed as ironic to him as it obviously did to Sam.

Nodding again, Charlie sighed. “Yeah. Some of it was so sad. But the end was good.”

“How the hell did you get ‘good’ from that?” Dean’s voice was more of an angry growl, and Charlie backed away from him.

“Well, that angel, Castiel? He left Sam on the street outside of Lisa’s. Wasn’t that a good ending?”

“Cas.” Sam turned to Dean and their eyes met.

For almost a full minute, Charlie watched them. “Um, guys, as much as I love the bromoments, or is that bromance?” she wondered more to herself then them, but she continued. “But you wanna clue me in?”

It was as if they’d forgotten she was there. Still staring at his brother, Dean answered. “Should have kept track of Chuck and the websites.”

Shrugging, Sam stared down at a suddenly fascinating tile on the floor. “If I had, I probably would have killed him at that point.”

“Killed him? Okay, I know I just missed an entire conversation between you two, but why would you kill the angel that dragged you both out of hell? I mean, there isn’t much in the books about it, but the second time he didn’t even have the whole garrison of angels to help him.”

When all she got as a reply were blank stares, Charlie had enough. “Why don’t I just show you? Obviously you don’t know a lot that was in them, so-“

“Good idea.”

Now wide awake, the three of them went back to the library, and Charlie opened her laptop. While it loaded, she gestured to the chairs on either side of her with a smile. “Have a seat, my bitches, and welcome to your virtual life.”

They both actually huffed as they sat on either side of her.

“Okay, this was the original site.” The site she pulled up was the one that they had found when they first discovered the Supernatural series. “I’m assuming you knew about this one?” They both nodded. “Now, check this out.” Within seconds she’d navigated to a post at the top of one of the message boards titled “True Believers”.

“This is where it gets weird.” At their matching stares, she shrugged. “My kind of weird. I mean, this IP address? Doesn’t exist.”

Sam’s brow furrowed as he stared at the numbers on her screen, but Dean looked at the two of them. “What does that mean?”

“It means,” Sam pointed to a series of numbers. “this doesn’t exist. This post should not be able to be here.”

Nodding, Charlie continued clicking through as she spoke. “Exactly. The webmaster, who works with or owns the company that published the original series has no idea where it came from. She suspects you two and Shurley did it. Well, not YOU TWO you two, but these two- and I quote- really hot reporters came to see her. Real fans, complete with the tats?”

They nodded.

“Yep. So a few months later, May to be exact, this post shows up. Now, once you click on it, you have to go through a whole bunch of questions, they start out easy, but you have to have really read the books to answer the next level. Fortunately, along with my obsession, comes an almost eidetic memory.  So I blew through this. And here’s where it takes you.” Another page opened up to a long list of links. At the top was a header that read “The continuing saga of two brothers who loved, hated, lived, and died for each other. Oh, and the world.”

Watching their faces, Charlie smiled. “Kinda sums it up, huh.”

Neither Winchester knew what to say. After a minute, Charlie continued. “These are all the books.” A few keys clicked too fast for either man to keep up. “I just sent you both decrypted copies. You should read them.”

Dean scoffed at her. “Why the hell would we want to read them? We LIVED them.”

Glancing between them, Charlie shrugged. “Call it intuition. You should both read them.” She clicked on a few more links and it took her to another page. “Here it is. The Winchester Gospel, as your fans call it.”

“They know our real names?” Sam wasn’t thrilled to hear that.

“There aren’t many people here. But these are people who claim to know you or have met you.” She hesitated for a second. “Becky, for starters, but there are a few more. These two guys that claim they helped you burn some bones at the convention you were suckered into showing up at? They said that you,” her eyes went to Dean. “told them you were the real Dean and they didn’t believe you. Well, they believe you now.”

“You told them?” Sam just stared at his brother, who shrugged.

“They saved our asses, Sammy.”

As if she were a teacher speaking to students, Charlie continued. “Some of it is just people gushing over the two of you. The section here is…” Now she out and out laughed. “slash fans. But not just the two of you.” Her face told them she really didn’t want to tell them about this, but she pressed on. “There are some people who believe that Dean and his angel had a lot more going on than saving the world.”

“WHAT?” Both of their voices raised again.

“Hey, I didn’t write this stuff. Don’t blame the messenger!” Charlie clicked on another link quickly to end the conversation. “These are people who think they need your help.”

“What do you mean need our help?” Sam was still in shock over the revelation about Dean and Cas, but that caught his attention.

“People who have weird stuff going on in their lives and they think the Winchesters can help.”

“Send me that.” At his older brother’s shocked expression, he continued. “Dean, if these are real cases, we should help them. I’ll sift through them and figure out if any of them really are cases. Then we’ll figure out what to do with them.”

Unable to argue with that logic, Dean gestured for Charlie to continue.

“There is one group who stick around, but they’re not really fans. Kind of…. I don’t know, unwilling students, maybe? They call themselves Ghostfacers?”

“The Ghostfacers are on this site?” Dean was hostile again.

“Well, yeah. Not much. Their site has a lot of videos and things about hunting ghosts. True stuff, from what I can tell. They credit some of their tips to those- and I quote- ‘douchebags’ the Winchesters’.”

“Douchebags? THEY call US douchebags?” Pissed, Dean started to go on a rant, but his brother quietly saying his name stopped him.

“Dean, we were douchebags to them.”

“You really wipe out their entire program?” When they nodded, she continued. “And you’re pissed they got upset with you over it?”

“Charlie, these pages, there isn’t much traffic, so we don’t have that many people tracking us, right?” Sam was hopeful.

“Lately, no. But during that whole Leviathan thing when those two were running around killing people with your faces- did you realize they were moving in the same cites the first few books took place in?”

“We figured that out.” Dean’s voice was quiet now, really not wanting to remember how many people died because of them in that fiasco.

“Anyway, traffic went way up during that time. Those pages aren’t here, but I found them.” She clicked a few more times. “I’ll send you everything and you can sift through it if you want, but there were a bunch of people not believing a word the FBI had to say about the two of you. So there is that. I picked up on one that asked a few questions that seemed….. too close to the truth? So I traced it. She covered her tracks pretty well, but she’s a lead homicide detective in Baltimore?”

When Dean realized it was a question, he turned to Sam. “We worked a case in Baltimore once.”

“Yeah-.” Sam thought about it a moment before it came to him. “Death omen.”

“DanaShulps!” It clicked in the older man’s head.

They both nodded, but Charlie went back to her screen. “I had a feeling. Yeah, she was on here, She’s a fan, but like I said, covered her tracks pretty well.”

“She likes her job.” Sam shrugged again. “Probably wouldn’t sit well with the department.”

“Exactly. Even the FBI showed up on some of the open sites, but they didn’t stick around. Figured they thought the people here were crazy.”

“If you hadn’t met us back and at Roman Inc. what would you think?”

“That you were schizophrenic with homicidal tendencies?” Charlie winced even as she said it and her voice rose in pitch so it sounded more like a question.

“Don’t sugarcoat it, Charlie.” Dean glared at her.

“Hey, you asked, bucko.”

Sam laughed. “So basically, people either think we’re saviors or serial killers.”

“That’s about it.” Charlie sighed. “And that concludes the lesson for today, bitches. Teach is tired.” Standing, she headed down the hallway to the room she’d chosen. “You two have a lot of reading to do.”

 After she was gone, the Winchesters stared at each other. It was a lot to take in, but Sam finally shrugged. “Maybe she’s right.”  
“Right about…..”

“The fact that we should read these.”

“Sam-“

“Look, we wouldn’t have known that Crowley had the Colt if Becky hadn’t told us. I mean,” Sighing, he ran his hands through his hair. “I know what I did. I know what happened. But we have no idea what else was going on.”

Hating the fact that his brother was back to his high strung state, Dean shrugged. “What difference does it make at this point?”

“I don’t know, Dean. It might not make any difference.” Hazel eyes stared evenly into green ones. “It might make a world of difference.” Standing, he reached for his pad. “Long list.”

“I’m not ready to get into this right now.” Dean was apprehensive. It was a lot of issues he had no interest in rehashing.

Sam nodded. “It can wait ‘til morning. Come on, let’s get some sleep.” Reaching for the older man, Sam pulled him to his feet.  
Silently, Dean followed him down the hallway and into what had become their bedroom. They both literally fell into bed, exhausted. They were both more than ready for sleep to claim them, but the thought of what they were going to find once they started reading had their minds racing. For a long time they held each other in silence, waiting for the other to drop off.

[PART 3](http://jasmineisland.livejournal.com/24879.html)   



	3. Reading Into The Past Part 3

Dean found Sam sitting in the library, engrossed in his tablet. He didn’t even have to ask what Sam was reading, but he was curious to know which one. Gently gripping the back of his neck up under his hair, Dean leaned over his shoulder.

Abruptly, Sam pulled the pad away and sighed. “You might not like this one.”

“Which one?”

When the younger man answered, his voice was barely a whisper. “I always wondered how I got out of the panic room.”

“I always thought Ruby’d found a way.” When Sam shook his head, Dean grew curious. Sitting down, he took the pad away from Sam.

_Castiel watched the drama unfold before him. His orders were very specific. Sam Winchester had to go back to the demon, Ruby. The only way to facilitate that was to open the door to the room his brother had locked him in. The demon blood flowing through him would take care of the rest. One look at the abomination within the walls told Castiel that his orders were correct. Sam would not be able to withstand the temptation of escape. The pain of withdrawal and what his hallucinations had conjured in the form of abandonment and condemnation by his brother would leave him no choice. The second the hunter, as predicted, stumbled up the stairs, the angel closed the panic room door and locked it. With the broken devil’s traps, demons would be the first thought that would come to Dean’s mind._

Dean almost dropped the pad. Castiel. All the scenarios that went through Dean’s mind,that was never one of them. He’d known at the time the angel had very little, if any, use for Sam. But that he was the one that let his brother out? After his bullshit speech about Sam becoming something he’d hunt if he drank enough to kill Lillith, which the angels were still saying would STOP the Apocalypse. After demanding that he sign up to be the angels’ bitch to stop Sam from having to be the one to do it?

Dropping the pad on the table, Dean stared at it like it was going to bite him.

“Dean, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? You’re sorry?” The older man’s tone was incredulous.

Hazel eyes dropped to the floor, believing Dean to be angry with him. Suddenly this really seemed like a bad idea to the younger man. One more on top of how many ideas that had ranged from bad to world-ending he’d had.

The guilty look wasn’t lost on Dean. Moving closer, he stared at his brother. “Why are you sorry? Because Cas lied to me just as much as Ruby did to you? And we were both so goddamned convinced we were right we refused to listen to each other?”

“You were right.” Sam sighed and raised his eyes to meet the older man’s. “Ruby was setting me up from the get go. I turned myself into a monster.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, he stared at the table. “I was a vampire, a blood sucking freak. One of those things we hunt.”

“Stop.” Dean couldn’t miss the sheer self-hatred dripping from his little brother’s voice. Somewhere inside, he’d always known Sam saw something hideous when he looked in the mirror. But he couldn’t take hearing that his brother felt this horrible about himself. “You called me self-righteous a couple times back then.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You were right, Sammy. I was so sure the angels were right. I thought I had the one good angel on my side.” Reaching out, Dean gripped the broad shoulder in front of him. “I listened to every goddamned word he said. You had to be stopped. I was the one that had to do it. Killing Lillith was the answer.”

“They were angels, Dean. Supposed to be the good guys. How could you have known?” Sam sighed again. “And Chuck said it was on my shoulders.”

For a long moment, Dean stared silently at his brother, thinking about the words he’d read. It didn’t change everything, but it did shed some light on what he thought was a closed subject. “We knew we were both set up. I just…… I…”

“You didn’t know. You had no way of knowing.” Taking a deep breath, the younger Winchester forced himself to meet his brother’s eyes. “You saw what I was doing. What I was becoming. You called it and you called it right. I turned myself into a monster.”

“I shouldn’t have said it.”

The quiet admission startled Sam and he stopped speaking.

“I wish I could say I thought about it and figured it out on my own, but it was Bobby. He told me what an asshole I was being. Realized he was right.” It had been a thorn in his side for three years now, and he found himself asking before he could stop himself. “That’s why I called you. I thought…. Well, doesn’t matter what I thought now, but I wanted…. I had to try. For a while I was pissed that you never mentioned it, but I finally figured out you probably never heard it.”

“Heard what?” Every word of the voicemail Dean had left him was etched in his mind, but he didn’t want to believe that was what Dean was talking about.

“I left you this voicemail. Wanted to clear the air, I guess.”

Sam’s heart felt like it skipped a beat. THAT was clearing the air? For a moment, he couldn’t draw a breath, and he could feel everything between them literally begin to crumble. “I….. I did hear it.” He could feel every muscle grow taut and begin to tremble. “You really….. I…..”

Not understanding what was happening next to him, Dean shrugged. “I really admitted I was wrong, and I know that’s shocking, but-“

“You were wrong?!” Something was in the back of Sam’s mind. Something really big that he knew all he had to do was put the pieces together. Part of him was terrified, but the other was desperate to believe the pieces that were falling into place. His voice was still low, but now it shook. “You admitted you were wrong?”

Concerned, Dean stared intently at his brother. “I know it probably left you speechless, but, come on, Sammy.” The table was actually shaking from the large body trembling against it. The look on his little brother’s face actually scared him. It was a  mixture of shock, fear, pain, and several other things he couldn’t pin down. “You’re scaring me here, kiddo. Take a breath.” When he didn’t get any response, he reached out and gripped Sam’s shoulder. “Sammy? Come on, breathe for me, here.”

“No. No. No. No.” The word repeated a few more times from nearly chattering teeth. “I…. you……..” The words couldn’t force themselves out with no air behind them. Sam’s mind was racing, and he couldn’t catch up with the thoughts that all pointed to one thing. The one thing that would have saved him, saved the fucking world, if his mind could have put that together at the moment.

Whatever was going through his mind, Dean knew it was going to be so earth shattering, he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it. But the effect it was having on his little brother terrified him. “Sammy, look at me. Don’t do this. Whatever it is, after everything we’ve been through, we’ll fix it. I promise, little brother. Whatever is going on with you, we’ll fix it.”

It came to Sam and he grabbed the pad off the table. As he punched buttons hard enough to crack the glass, he mumbled to himself. “It’s gotta be here. Gotta be here.Goddammit, where is it? It’s gotta be here. Come on, Chuck, goddammit, you wrote everything else. Where the fuck is it?” Unaware of his brother trying to get through to him, he brought up the next book. Swan Song. Scanning the words quickly, he paused when he got to Bobby calling his brother a princess. Dean telling Bobby he was gone reinforced the terror that everything was what he’d believed it to be, but he pressed on, deciding to read that later. His stomach turned when he skimmed over what he’d done to Cindy McClellan, but he couldn’t dwell on that, either, at the moment. He had to know. The angel room. He knew he was close, his hopes and fears growing with every word. By the time he got to the part he was searching for, he was having a hard time reading through all the cracks he’d put in the glass. But there it was. The voice mail.

_Hey, it’s me. Look I’ll just get right to it. I’m still pissed and I owe you a serious beatdown, but I shouldn’t have said what I said. You know, I’m not Dad. We’re brothers, we’re family and no matter how bad it gets it doesn’t change. Sammy I’m sor-_

Sam read the words on the screen a dozen times, still putting the pieces together. It was all there, right in front of him. This is what his brother had really said to him. These words, if he’d heard them…. How differently things would have gone. Shrugging off Dean’s hand, he gripped the pad and threw it across the room. Even with the force behind it, the sound wasn’t very loud, but it sounded like an explosion to the younger man. He stood and crossed the room to the mess he’d made and fell to his knees. When he pulled his fist back to punch the shattered glass, like it would destroy what had happened between them, his arm was caught in a grip.

“Sammy, you gotta stop, man.” Dean’s voice was low, moving closer so he was almost whispering into his brother’s ear. “Come on. Stop. I need you to stop and talk to me.”

Unable to force the words past the lump in his throat, Sam shook his head. Instead, he wrapped his free arm around the other man’s neck and pulled him close. A few more shaky breaths and he could finally whisper. “You never gave up on me.”

Dean knew he was missing something, but he let go of Sam’s arm to grip the long hair gently. “’course not. You’re my little brother.” A noise caught his attention and he saw Charlie standing in the hallway, her worry evident. When he waved to her, she backed away from them and towards her bedroom, but Dean gave Sam’s arm a squeeze. “Come on. We’ll figure this out.” Even though he still had no idea what ‘it’ was.

Nodding, Sam leaned back and stared at the older man. “All these years, Dean. Everything I did, everything-“

“Enough.” Dean sighed. “I told you we’ll fix it. We will. But first I gotta know what it is.”

Shaggy hair turned towards what was left of his pad. “Where’s yours?”

“Um, it’s not gonna join yours it is?” The older man gripped the back of Sam’s neck gently. “Why we don’t have nice things, dude.”  
With a small smile, Sam shook his head.

With a few cracks in his joints, Dean stood and pulled his brother up with him. Picking his pad up off the table, he tugged the taller man by the shirt. “Come on. Charlie needs her sleep and I think we’re interrupting that.”

Quietly, Sam followed him to their bedroom. Once they were inside with the door shut, Dean handed his brother his pad. “Okay, now show me what’s got you in knots.”

It didn’t take him long to find what he was looking for and he handed the pad to his brother. “This is what I heard.”

_Listen to me, you bloodsucking freak. Dad always said I'd either have to save you or kill you. Well, I'm giving you fair warning. I'm done trying to save you. You're a monster, Sam -- a vampire. You're not you anymore. And there's no going back.”_

There were a lot of moments in Dean’s life that he wished he could go back and change. After hearing his voice saying things that he knew had emotionally gutted his brother he added ever telling Sam that he’d hunt him or calling him a monster to the top of that list. The fact that Sam believed for all this time that Dean had actually said those words was a result of the things Dean really had said to him in anger.

“Jesus Christ, Sammy. I….”

“I know. You never said it. Now.” The words hung between them for a moment. “Ruby must have-“

“Could have been Zach.” The moment was suddenly clear in his mind. “It’s probably in there somewhere, but Zach told me you were having second thoughts and you would need a ‘nudge’ in the right direction.” Putting the pad on the nightstand, he put his hand back on Sam’s shoulder. “More like a fucking shove off a cliff with that shit.” It was taking everything in him to stay calm, but instinctively he knew that’s what his little brother needed from him at that moment. “Sam, I swear to you I never said any of that shit.”

“I know.”

“But I know I did say some shit that made you believe I would say that, right?”

“Dean-“

“Right.” Dean continued like Sam hadn’t spoken. “So it happened, and we got played. I need you to believe now that none of that is true. Even the shit I really said before. It’s over. We’re good.”

Suddenly his arms were full of not so little brother and he held the larger man tightly. The urge to put an end to the chick-flick was strong, but Sam had been stripped raw by the trials, and he just didn’t have the heart to shut him down. If this was what he needed to get better, this is what his big brother was going to give him. After a long minute, he leaned back and looked into those hazel eyes.

“We’re good, I promise. Come here.” Lying down, he pulled Sam into his arms. The easy way the younger man slid against him with his head on Dean’s chest came from an ingrained muscle memory of his brother holding him all of his life. It was comforting to both of them and they both sighed as the tension drained from their bodies.

Under the cover of the soft glow of dim lights and the safety of his brother’s arms, Sam found the strength to whisper. “That was it for me.”

“What?”

“I wasn’t sure. About Lillith, I mean. I wanted to make things right with you before I went to the convent. I thought it was going to kill me, and that was okay, but I didn’t want things to end between us like that, you know? But then I heard that voice mail and I realized I had nothing left to lose.”  The arm holding him tightened and he wrapped his arm around the muscled chest under his head. “I heard you at the convent. I heard you banging on the door and I….” He took a shuddering breath and squeezed his eyes against the tears that were forming. “I thought you were there to kill me.”

It was like the final piece of the puzzle slid into place for Dean. The years of thinking Sam had ignored the voice mail, the years of wondering why Sam didn’t respond to his arrival at the convent. The way the angels and/or demons had used his own words spoken out of line in anger to drive his brother to actively attempt to commit suicide. Suddenly reading those goddamned books moved to the top of Dean’s to do list. What else had those fuckers used him to do to his brother?

“I’m done, Sam. I’ve fucking had it with all of this.”

Misunderstanding, Sam pulled away, keeping his head deliberately turned so Dean couldn’t see his face. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”  
Realizing his brother didn’t follow, Dean reached for him and sat up to face him. He was still mumbling apologies when Dean touched his face. “Stop. That’s not what I mean.”

The younger man got quiet, but refused to look at him.

“I’m done with wondering about where we stand with each other. How much of anything that’s happened before was really either of us? God knows how long they’ve been dicking us around.”

“Since we were kids.”

“I’m not talking about Mom or the demon blood, Sam-“

“I’m not either.” Sam stared into green eyes and sighed. “I’m talking about what Lucifer showed me.”

“Lucifer?! What?”

“Azazel’s gang. That’s what he called them. Demons that have been fucking with me since grade school. Who knows? If I’ve had demons on my ass, who’s to say that angels haven’t been on yours?”

It was too much to process. He couldn’t speak, but then he didn’t have to. Sam knew what he wasn’t saying and continued. “A grade school teacher, friend, my fucking prom date. Demons. Long before Brady or Ruby.” Running his hands through his hair, he shook his head. “All preparing me for their fucking party in some way, shape, or form.”

“Mom used to say that angels were watching over me.” Their eyes met and suddenly they both laughed. It wasn’t an easy laugh at a shared joke. It was a bitter laugh at the horrific irony.

“Don’t think what really happened was what she had in mind, dude.” Sam couldn’t help himself. “Maybe. I mean, I’m reaching, but-“

“But it makes sense.” Dean was quiet for a moment.

“You think this… us…. Our……” He was afraid to say it out loud.

“Relationship, Sammy. You can say the word and I won’t freak out.” Smiling, he reached out and gently gripped the long hair at the nape of Sam’s neck. Dean kissed him once, softly. “Do I think we’d still be fucking each other if they hadn’t screwed with our lives? Probably not.” Before his brother could misinterpret and pull away once again, he pulled him closer. “But I believe this is the one thing they DIDN’T plan on. This.” Another kiss. “Us. This is what got us both through to the other side. Hell, for all we know if we’d started having sex before any of it really got started none of it would have happened.”

That made the younger man laugh. “Yeah, because we all know sex can save the world.”

“Sure as hell saved us, Sammy. We just waited too damn long to find out.”

Pushing Dean down on his back, the younger man moved over him and slid between his legs. “What made you kiss me that first time?”

“I remember it that you kissed me first, bitch.”

“Whatever. What made you kiss me back?” It wasn’t the way Sam saw it, but he still wanted to know.

“You were talking about going to hell, Sammy. Talking about taking on Lucifer and jumping in the pit like it was a fucking trip you were going on. If I couldn’t stop it I wanted you to know…..” His voice trailed off.

“How much you loved me.” He knew and he wasn’t about to force Dean to say it.

For the first time, Dean wasn’t going to take the easy out his brother gave him. “How much I’ve always loved you.” The look of surprise on the younger man’s face sent a spike of guilt through him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually told his brother he loved him. Sam had no problem saying it and he did so regularly. Realizing how good it made him feel to hear it, he felt a wave of sadness that Sam never got that simple gesture from him. That was going to change, starting now.

With a nudge, Dean rolled them over so their positions were reversed. After a deep kiss that left them both breathless, he pulled his lips a few inches away. “I love you.”

A shiver ran up Sam’s spine and the smile that came to his face made his brother’s heart skip a beat. Encouraged, he kissed the man under him again. “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

“Even when you hated me?” Sam was trying to keep his tone light, but his eyes betrayed the insecurity behind the words.

“I’ve NEVER hated you. I’ve been pissed. I’ve been hurt. I’ve wanted to beat the living shit out of you on occasion, but I have never, in my life, NOT loved you.” He kissed him again and suddenly found himself on his back with that blinding smile looking down at him.

“I love you.” Sam kissed him. “I’ve pissed you off, I’ve hurt you, I’ve wanted to beat the living shit out of you and I’ve deserved to get the living shit beat out of me. But I have loved you since the day I was born.” They were both done talking. The kiss they shared this time was more heat and it didn’t end.  Dean reached down and pulled on his brother’s baggy T shirt. Sam broke the kiss long enough to rid them both of their worn shirts and spread back out over the warm body beneath him.

Strong hands pressed into the muscles of his back before they slid down under Sam’s sweats and gripped his ass. Flexing, he moved his now granite hard dick against his brother’s and they both groaned softly from the friction.

“Off.” That was one demand the younger brother was more than happy to comply with. As he sat up Dean’s hands pulled on the loose fitting pants until his dick was free. When he felt the calloused fingers wrap around him, he inhaled sharply. For a moment he stayed still and enjoyed the attention, but he had other things on his mind for them. Quickly, he discarded the last articles of clothing from both of them and climbed back on top of his brother. At the sensation of skin to skin contact, Dean groaned and gripped the long hair to pull his brother into a vicious kiss. It started out harsh and demanding, but Sam brought his hand up to gently stroke his face. Easing the kiss into something slower, they held onto each other. For a while they exchanged lazy, open mouthed kisses, just enjoying the feeling of each other pressed skin to skin the length of their bodies.

Dean was surprised his brother wasn’t already doing lots of those usual amazing things to his body, but this was working out just fine for the older man. It was soft, sensual, not their usual appetite, but he felt it through his entire body. His brother would break the kiss only long enough to give him little nips along his jaw line towards his neck. Nothing hard, there would be no marks, but the sensation of those lips barely touching him made him shiver. He was so intent on the soft kisses drifting across his collarbone he almost didn’t realize those long, slender fingers were pressing between his legs. Shifting, he gave his brother more room to work with and soon he felt those fingers sliding into him gently. He was still stretched from the harsh riding he’d given Sam earlier, so there was enough give for three fingers almost immediately. But they never drove into him hard, just a gentle push/pull that never really built any pressure. When he felt them withdraw, he knew what was coming and he tilted his hips to give Sam a better angle.

When the blunt end of his cock pressed through the first ring of muscle, Sam inhaled sharply. The tight heat gripping him never failed to almost make him lose control. The urge to drive himself all the way into his brother was strong, and normally he would do just that, right into the spot that would make Dean’s entire body jerk, but those other plans were still on his mind. Leaning down, he kissed his brother gently, continuing the slow make out session from before. He slid in slowly, moving gradually, letting every inch send ripples through both of their bodies.

Dean’s senses were on overload. The heat of his brother’s tongue slowly mapping his mouth while he could feel his dick easing into his body, it was too much and not enough at the same time and all the older Winchester could do was hang on for the ride.

Finally he was all the way inside, and they both actually sighed. Breaking the kiss, Sam lifted his head and stared into his brother’s eyes as he pulled back almost all the way out.

When he met those hazel eyes, Dean literally felt like Sam was looking into his soul. For once, he didn’t fight it. He met the younger man’s stare evenly, hoping that he saw whatever it was he was searching for. Keeping their eyes locked, he felt Sam slide back into him until he was as far as he could go. The raw emotion Dean saw took his breath. If he’d ever doubted how much his little brother loved him those doubts were gone. Against his will, his throat tightened and his eyes watered but he refused to break eye contact. For once he wasn’t going to hide what he felt from Sammy.

The realization that Dean was actually allowing him to see what he was feeling sent shockwaves through Sam. Tears came to his eyes and he didn’t fight them. For a brief moment he expected a sharp slap to the back of his head and a wiseass comment about chick flick moments. But it never came. Instead it was a gentle hand to the side of his face and a soft swipe at an escaping tear. When he pulled back and thrust gently again, it was too much. Desperate to control himself, he finally tore his eyes away from Dean’s and closed them, dropping his head to the other man’s shoulder.

Dean felt Sam’s lips traveling over his shoulder and up his neck. His brother was a biter, he knew that. It was like an oral fixation that he had no control over. But these weren’t really bites. They were gentle nips with soft open mouth kisses just sliding along his skin. After about twenty seconds, he realized the movement of the lips against him were actually words. He heard his name and the words ‘I love you’ and ‘I need you’. Tightening his grip on his brother, Dean echoed the words right back to him.

This wasn’t going to drag out any longer. Both of them were overwhelmed and too close to the edge. With a gentle thrust of his hips, Sam buried himself again, hitting that spot deep inside Dean that made his back arch and his fingers squeeze to the point of bruising. A few more thrusts and finally he couldn’t hold back anymore. Gripping his brother by the shoulders, he used his hips to thrust three more times, driving inside Dean until they were moaning each other’s names.

For a few minutes after, they just held each other and rode out the tremors. Sam had never felt so connected to Dean and he didn’t want to lose the feeling. But he knew he had to be crushing his brother, so he eased out and rolled to the side.

Sam started to say something, but one look at the man beside him told him that he didn’t need to. His brother got the message loud and clear. With a smile, he snuggled closer and put his head down on the broad chest where he could hear Dean’s heart beating. It didn’t take long before they were both in a deep sleep.

 

[PART 4](http://jasmineisland.livejournal.com/25091.html)   



	4. Reading Into The  Past Part 4

  
Charlie was growing more concerned every hour the Winchesters didn’t appear. The sight she’d seen last night wasn’t what she’d call good. Telling them to read the books seemed like a pretty stupid idea to her now. The broken pad was a definite clue things weren’t good between them, but Dean had seemed pretty confident when he’d waved to her. But now it was quiet, no sounds from their end of the batcave, and she wondered what that meant.

She’d cleaned up the pad, scrounged some coffee and a protein bar, and was sitting at the table on her laptop when they finally appeared. Jumping up, she stared at them.

“You guys okay?”

Exchanging a glance, they both nodded at her.

“I was kind of surprised you guys weren’t up already, and then I saw the casualty.” She gestured to where the pad had met its demise. “And I got kind of worried.”

“We’re fine, Charlie.” Moving past her Sam headed for the kitchen. “I smell coffee.”

As he disappeared, her eyes moved to the other Winchester. “Was that whole showing you everything online a bad idea?”

“Actually? No.” Dean smiled at her. “It got intense, but I think it ended up being good.”

“So glad. I was really worried about the two of you last night.’

“We’re fine. Promise.”

Sam’s voice echoed from the kitchen. “Jesus Christ, Charlie. Dean, get in here, you will love her coffee!”

Laughing, they joined the tall man in the kitchen.

“I swear, I think if I could peel the cup away it would stand up by itself.” Laughing, Sam handed Dean his cup. “All yours, dude.”

Taking a sip, Dean confirmed his brother’s suspicions that he’d love it. Reaching into the fridge, he pulled out the container of milk. “Just pour it in here, Sammy. Might be enough for you to drink it.”

“Why do I bother?” Charlie whined, but she was smiling. “Try to do something nice, and what do you get? Shit. That’s what I get.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Dean flashed her a smile and drank the coffee. “I can appreciate a strong cup of coffee. Princess over there has delicate taste.”

“Kiss my ass, dude.” Sam poured milk and sugar in his and drank it.

The three shared an amiable silence for a few minutes. Sam was anxious to get back to the books and find out what else he’d completely missed. The thought that Dean had never called him a vampire or wanted to kill him had lifted a weight he had grown so accustomed to he hadn’t even realized he was still carrying it. He knew that it wasn’t all going to be revelations that made him feel better, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he felt it was important they work their way through Chuck’s view of their lives.

Dean knew exactly where his brother’s mind was, and he understood. After last night’s revelations, he agreed that it might be important to find out what else had gone on that he’d never had any idea about. A couple things jumped right to the front of his mind. Sam had never discussed what had happened when he’d left Dean at the rest stop outside of River Pass. Not that they’d really been on speaking terms at that point, but he’d casually mentioned it a few times and each time Sam had dodged the subject. With his mindset at that time, he’d assumed Sam had done something he didn’t want to admit to, but now he wondered.

Charlie realized they were both lost in thought and she tapped her fingers on the table. “Hello? Talking to myself? Well, I do that all the time, but usually I’m not in the room with other people when I’m doing it.”

“Sorry.” They both snapped their attention back to her. She watched the two of them for a long moment. “Looks like you’d both rather be doing something else.”

Standing, Sam stretched his back, wincing at the loud pops that accompanied the movement. “My mind is just on those books. I started reading them last night and I can’t stop thinking about them.”

Nodding, the woman realized that’s where both of them were mentally. “I can amuse myself, guys. Not gonna take it personally. I dropped a pretty big bomb on you last night, right?”

On impulse, Sam hugged her. “Thanks, Charlie.” He disappeared.

Dean shrugged. “I’m kinda curious, too. Couple things I want to find out, myself.”

“So go do it. I’m fine, promise.” She smiled at him, but he didn’t return it. “Seriously, what gives? I mean, yeah, kind of creepy to the nth factor to see your lives out there like that, but you guys got through it. From what I saw,” her smile grew as he actually blushed when he remembered exactly what she saw. “things are good between you now.”

“They are. Better than ever, actually.” Dean agreed. “It’s just…. we both got a look at how much we’ve been played. Our whole freakin’ lives.”

“Hindsight is 20/20 or an outsider’s point of view?”

“Both.” Sighing, he leaned forward on the table and stared at it intently. “So much of what we did. Mostly to each other. So much of it was orchestrated that we……” He couldn’t begin to explain it to her.

“I read them, Dean. I know.”

Sam entered the kitchen and they both turned to him silently. For a brief moment, Sam was reminded of how Dean and Cas would stop talking when he entered the room. Back when he was the bad guy and no one trusted him. “Sorry. Just looking for a drink.”

He wasn’t sure why his brother wouldn’t meet his eyes, but he knew something was up. “I was just telling Charlie that we are finding out just how much of our lives we were screwed with.”

“Sucks to be you two.” When they looked at her, she shrugged. “I read the books, remember?”

“And the dissertations?” Sam shook off his thoughts about not being wanted in the conversation.

“You got it.” Standing, she headed out of the kitchen. “I’m heading into town for a while. I’ll bring back beer, pizza, and some pie.”  
“You wanna get married?” Dean grinned at her.

Charlie stopped and turned to him. “Dean, I’m sure there are people out there who’d find that whole, ya know, marry me, marry me and my brother thing really hot and kinky.”

Sam laughed at the blush that spread over Dean’s cheeks.

Enjoying it as much as Sam was, she continued. “But you’d have to have a sister to get me to go for that arrangement.” She pointed at the taller Winchester. “And calling him Samantha doesn’t cut it.” Her laughter echoed through the batcave while they stared slack jawed at her retreating form. “Later, bitches!”

  
After they heard the door shut behind her, they stared at each other, laughing.

“Where do we start?” Sam suddenly felt awkward. He was intent on finding out a lot of things, but it occurred to him that he was also going to be digging into his brother’s head on a level he wasn’t sure Dean would appreciate.

His little brother wore his emotions on his face, and this was no different. “I think we need to do this, Sam.”

“We’re gonna be okay after, right?”

“Hey,” Crossing the room, he reached for Sam and took those long slender fingers in his hand. “Of course we are.” He kissed his brother softly. “All these years, how much shit has that voicemail caused?”

Sam nodded.

“And neither of us put it together what really happened until last night.”

“Not everything we’re gonna find is going to fix things, Dean.”

“I know that.” The older man sighed. “But the thing to remember is that it all happened years ago. We both made a lot of mistakes. With or without help from the fucking angels or demons.”

They kissed again before Sam pulled away. “Gotta figure out where to start.”

As they moved back into the library, Dean retrieved his pad from the bedroom while Sam booted his laptop.

Starting with Swan Song, Dean tried to backtrack and figure out which story was the one he was looking for. The titles meant nothing to him, and he skimmed through them quickly. After about twenty minutes of opening and closing different books, he finally found the one where Sam left him in Colorado.

“Good God Y’All?” The title alone made Dean snort. “Where the fuck did he get this shit?” He noticed the book ended with Sam leaving him at the rest area, so he’d have to find the next one.

Sam replied to the question with an offhanded shrug.

“What are you reading?”

Hazel eyes drifted from the screen to his brother. “You’re in the future.” His voice was strained, literally choking on the memory of Dean cutting him loose for what they’d both thought was forever. To read that his older brother had really believed every word he’d said, that his refusal to reunite was just as much fear as it was just an overwhelming desire to be rid of the shit that came along with being his brother hurt him in ways he’d never forget. The fact that it hurt Dean as well was small consolation. It was still all because of him.

Dean knew exactly what was making Sam sound so hurt. Suddenly this didn’t sound like such a good idea. He’d been so sure it was the right decision to cut ties with his brother at the time. He’d been so tired. There was a small hope that Chuck had included how much that decision had hurt, but he knew Sam was reading how sick he’d been of cleaning up his little brother’s messes as well. It didn’t take long for him to give in to the desire to move closer and reach out to the younger man.

When Dean’s head leaned against his shoulder, Sam’s weight pressed back. “Sammy….”

“I’m okay.” He sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“We knew this wasn’t gonna be easy, man. Maybe we should do this together.”

“I read faster.” When he received the anticipated smack to the back of the head, he smiled.

“What’s going on?”

Now the younger man actually laughed. “You and you…. Future you… whatever… You’re talking about Rhonda Hurley.”

“Son of a bitch! I’m gonna find a way to bring Chuck back just so I can fucking kill him again!”

Dean’s tirade only made his brother laugh harder. “Satin panties? Dude, sounds pretty kinky. Never tried that.”

It was a relief to both of them to share a laugh, even if Dean’s skin had acquired a red shine to it.

“Gonna have to find some sasquatch size, it’s an experience.”

“Thinking I’m gonna pass on that experience.” They shared eye contact for a moment before Sam forced his eyes back to the screen. The confrontation between Dean from his time versus Dean from 2014 was written in such a choppy way he had a hard time following it. Until future Dean said that Sam hadn’t made it. He got that part loud and clear. In this version of the future he was dead. His confusion wasn’t lost on his brother.

“Hit me hard, when I heard it.” Dean’s voice was quiet. “I didn’t want to think about the fact that the last conversation we had, you asked for my help and I hung up on you.”

“No, I mean, yeah, that wasn’t great, but…..” He went back over the paragraph again.

_“What about Sam?” The fact that Dean hadn’t seen him filled him with a dread that almost made him not ask the question._   
_The look he received from his ‘other’ self told him his fears were correct. “Heavyweight showdown in Detroit. From what I heard Sam didn’t make it.”_   
_“You weren’t with him?” The thought that his little brother had died alone was more than Dean ever wanted to know, and it cut through him._   
_“No. No, me and Sam, we hadn’t talked in- hell five years.”_   
_Five years. That meant, if Dean’s calculations were correct, the last conversation he’d ever have with his brother had already happened. Sam had called in a panic asking his big brother to help him and he’d turned his back on the kid. At that moment, he’d never intended to speak to his brother again, but now he realized he hadn’t really believed that. Until now. After he could actually breathe again, Dean finally asked. “We never tried to find him?” The first thing he was going to do if he was here long enough was find out exactly what happened to Sam and figure out how to change the fact that his little brother didn’t make it to 31 years old._   
_The look was gone and replace with a hardened look that Dean had never seen in the mirror before. It was empty and more dead than alive. “We had other people to worry about.”_

Sam sighed and stared at the screen. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“What, that if we hadn’t changed things you would have died before now?”

Hazel eyes met his. “Dean, I did die.”

“You didn’t jump into hell in this version, Sam.” Something clicked in Dean’s mind. In Zach’s version of the future, Sam had most likely tried the same thing he did in their time. He’d tried to beat Lucifer. But in that version, Dean hadn’t called him again. They hadn’t fought together. His little brother had taken on the devil and tried to save the world alone.  And he’d failed.

Sam’s voice brought him back to the present. He was searching the book, mumbling to himself. “I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about….” His voice trailed off and he slowly turned to the older man.  “It’s in here. At least parts of it.”

“What’s in here?”

Nervous, Sam bit his lip and scrolled back up to the beginning. “It was….. I…. I…”

Whatever ‘it’ was, it was bad. Dean was sure of that. For a brief moment, he desperately wanted his brother to shut up. But there it was in black and white on the screen and Dean realized what his brother was talking about.

_Holding the phone in his hand, Sam realized his brother was gone. Couldn’t blame him. Who’d actually WANT to be hanging out with the monster that was the devil’s chosen meat suit? He wondered if Lucifer could find him through his dreams and realized what that would mean to the world._   
_For a brief moment, he considered calling Dean back again. But he knew it was nothing  more than a selfish wish to drag his brother back into the hell that was his life. Apparently literally. It was beyond saving. HE was beyond saving. His mind replayed the conversation he’d had with Lucifer in his mind. He was so goddamned sure Sam would say yes._   
_“With my track record, who’d bet against it?” he mumbled to himself as he pulled the car to the side of the road and fell out. His empty stomach rebelled. Again. When he was convinced he was finished, he sat down against the tire and sighed. Realizing he still had his phone in his hand he threw it through the open door into the car before he gave in and called Dean. Even if his brother had wanted to fix this, he couldn’t. Sam realized he’d made his bed and it was up to him to lie in it. The thought of a bed brought up the memory of Jess’s warm figure next to him turning into…….._   
_Hauling his large frame away from the car, he proceeded to throw up again. It was too much. His ribs and back were throbbing from the beating, his head was pounding in time to his heartbeat, which he prayed to a God that had long since given up on him to stop._

“Dean,” When Sam tried to move the laptop, Dean grabbed it. He needed to know what happened after he’d hung up on Sam. Especially since he’d realized that, if it hadn’t been for Zach, it really would have been the last conversation they’d ever had.

_He started to get back in the car, but he realized he had nowhere to go. Staring at the sky, Sam made his decision. Later he’d realize it was stupid to think Lucifer was bluffing. He’d blame the concussion. He’d blame the pain. He’d blame the fact that he knew he couldn’t fight alont. But most of all, he’d blame himself._   
_He made it to his knees and into the back seat, every movement sending stabs of pain. Concussion. Cracked, maybe broken, ribs. His back was fucked up. One eye was almost swollen shut and his mouth was bleeding again. He’d tried to spit out all the demon blood, but he wouldn’t be sure until a few more hours had passed with no side effects. Cataloging injuries as he’d always done, he realized he’d live if he didn’t do something about it._

“Broken ribs? Concussion? Demon blood? What the fuck happened?” His eyes met Sam’s with an expression that told the younger man he wasn’t going to give up without answers.

“Hunters.” Sam sighed. “Reggie, Tim, and a couple others caught up with me in Oklahoma.”

“You never said a word about it.”

“Didn’t think it mattered.” Sam’s tone was flat, and the older Winchester realized that he’d been the one to lead him to think that. Pushing down the anger at something that had happened three years ago, he pulled the laptop out of Sam’s hands and continued to read.

_Sam forced himself to his feet and went for his bag. For a moment he considered going back to Gerber. Reggie and his buddies would be looking for him. If they were just going to take him out, he would have started the car and turned around. But they’d figured out Lindsay was a weakness and they’d go for her again if he didn’t cooperate. So he had to move._   
_For a brief moment, he was glad Dean wasn’t on his way. They might be hunters, but what would they have done to his brother to get him to cooperate? He felt a pang of guilt at the fact that those assholes hurting Dean scared him more than the possibility of them hurting Lindsay, but that was the one good thing about his brother finally having said enough was enough. He wouldn’t be in the line of fire when an angel, a demon , or a hunter finally caught up with him. Christ. Sam realized he’d added a whole new definition of “fucked” to the dictionary. At least Dean wouldn’t be the one to kill him._   
_Thinking back on the voicemail, Sam wondered if that was what Dean wanted or not. Was he saving his brother from having to kill him or denying him the opportunity?_

Dean had to stop reading there because he could no longer see the screen through the tears that threatened to fall. Reaching out more to prove to himself that Sammy was sitting beside him, he gripped the larger man’s shirt. “Tell me.”

Understanding that his brother literally couldn’t read it, he sighed. “I drove out to some field and…..”

“And?” Silently he begged the man to not say what he knew damn well was coming.

“I gave up, Dean. I sat in a field and ate a fucking bullet. I’m sorry, but I-“

In one swift motion, Dean stood up and dragged his brother up to face him. “Stop saying you’re sorry. It’s not all on you, Sammy.”

“My choices, Dean. My mother of all fucking bad choices.”

Dean knew the word choices had come up a lot between them since the fucking spector. It had seriously reinforced what Sam had believed to be Dean’s opinion of him.

“What choices? Bad, more bad, or worst seem to be the only choices you’ve had. I never saw it, Sammy. I never saw what you were going through. I only saw what you actually did. That’s on me, and I’m sorry.” Right then and there he knew he’d never look at that book again. He’d go to his grave gladly not reading about Sam eating a bullet in the middle of a field alone.

When Dean pulled him closer and hugged him tightly, the taller man returned the hug and leaned his head on his older brother’s shoulder.  “When he brought me back, I was fine. Well, pissed off, but the concussion, broken ribs, it was all gone.”

Dean decided he’d go back to the book before this one and find out exactly what those assholes had done to his little brother before he went looking for them.

“I got back in the car and I don’t think I was in the car five minutes before you called.”  Sam shrugged. “I don’t know how long it was. But that’s what’s confusing me. Future you said I didn’t make it. So in that reality, Lucifer couldn’t resurrect me and I stayed dead?”

Dean realized that Sam hadn’t reached the part where he actually was Lucifer’s vessel. The last thing he wanted Sam to read was where he, being driven by Lucifer, had killed the future Dean. But it was too late to stop him now. One thing his brother was right about, he read fast. He skimmed a few words here and there while Sam read the story in front of him. Dean knew when his brother’s entire body tensed and he literally began to shake he’d read what happened in that future.

“Sammy, it was all bullshit. Zach set the whole thing up.” Reaching out, Dean put his hand on the shoulder beside him.

“I said yes. And I didn’t put him back.” Hazel eyes met Dean’s. “Is that why you called me? Because if you didn’t you knew I was going to destroy the world?”

“No!” Pulling his brother until they were facing each other, he reached out and gripped the back of Sam’s neck. “I called you because some asswipe who looked like me told me you were dead.” The younger man nodded, but his eyes dropped. “Listen to me. I turned into that asswipe that would sacrifice my friends and not think twice about it. And yeah, you said yes and I got to see you possessed all over again, only this time by fucking Lucifer and there was no exorcism that was gonna save you. I called you because I didn’t want the last conversation we ever had to be me shutting the door on you.” Moving closer, Dean gripped both sides of his brother’s head so he was forced to look at him. “I realized that we were both fucked if we kept trying to do it alone. I wasn’t any happier with that version of me than I was with the whole Samifer thing you had going on. You gotta-“

“Wait.” Licking his lips, Sam stared at Dean. “Did you just call me- well, future me,…… Samifer?”

“Sounded better in my head.” Shrugging, the older Winchester ruffles his brother’s head. “It was bad,dude. You were in this all white suit with these big white shoes.”

Now Sam laughed. “I was possessed by the devil himself and you’re insulted by my wardrobe?”

“It was a really insulting wardrobe.” Grateful that his brother was smiling again, he reached down and gripped the muscular thigh. “I’ll be the first one to admit you look hot in a suit, but the whole white thing was just bad.”

“So you like me in a suit, huh?”

“Not as much as I like you wearing the sheet off my bed……” Allowing his voice to trail off, he shrugged again. “But that’s just me.”  
It happened so fast Dean had a hard time keeping up. Jumping to his feet, Sam shoved the laptop to the other end of the table, turned around, gripped Dean’s body, and hauled him up on the now cleared table.

Being manhandled by his little brother was wrong in so many ways, yet it still managed to push a button that turned him on in less than one second. He spread his legs so those narrow hips could fit between them and pulled the taller man closer.

As soon as he felt the hard bulge in his brother’s jeans, Sam smirked. “Want me to throw you around some more?”

“Shut up and fuck me, Sasquatch.” Wrapping his arms around Sam’s neck, he used his legs to trap him and laid back on the table, lifting and pulling until Sam was on top of him. For a few minutes they kissed, hungry, needy kisses that brought moans from both of them. It wasn’t enough for either of them. Shoving off the table, Sam yanked his shirt over his head and reached for his brother.

Large hands pulled, lifted, and began to strip him even before he left the surface of the table. Laughing, Dean tried to help. “Anxious, Sammy?”

The only response he got was literally a growl before he found himself bent over face down on the table.

“Jesus Christ, you… shit.” Dean’s words trailed off when he felt Sam’s body draped over him. Those huge hands traveled over his skin while sharp nips mixed in with kisses worked over his shoulder blades.

The muscular ass squirming against his dick made Sam’s knees threaten to buckle under him. It was more of an unconscious fixation, but Sam’s favorite spot on Dean’s back was right at the base of his ribs, where bone gave way to taut muscle. It might have had something to do with the fact that every time his teeth made contact, the body under him would shiver.

Knowing he’d have bruises and bite marks across his back tomorrow gave Dean a sense of being owned by Sam, that, no matter what happened, his brother wanted the world to know he owned the older man. But he pushed back, knowing that dick against his ass wanted inside him as badly as he wanted it inside him.

“Stay.” The word was barked as an order just before the heavy body leaning on him was gone.

Even as hot as it was, Dean couldn’t resist. “Woof.” He shook his head. “What do you think I am? A goddamned dog? Stay.”

“I’ll have you sitting up, rolling over, and begging soon, so don’t bitch about it.” Sam had already returned and dropped the lube on the floor beside them. A few more bites at the base of his ribs and the tall man kneeled behind his brother.

It was on the tip of his tongue to snap back, but those hands gripped his ass and he changed his mind. For a moment he had the urge to flip the situation and spread his younger brother across the table, but he realized Sam needed this. Dean had topped before Sam jumped into the pit, and even after he had Sammy back, he hadn’t bottomed very often for him. Even the few times he did, he was still physically on top, staying in control of the situation. Of course his master-of-the-emo-brother had associated it with trust and taken it as yet another sign that he was unworthy. Even Dean had to admit it might have been part of it, but it hadn’t been a conscious decision. The feeling of not being good enough had been so strongly reinforced in Sam since Purgatory that Dean knew his little brother needed him to sit back and give him control.

Unaware of the thoughts going through Dean’s mind, Sam traced his fingers along the crack of his brother’s ass and down over his balls. The shudders running through the older man made him smile.

Long fingers wrapped around his cock and tugged gently a few times before moving away. His hips jerked involuntarily. “Goddammed tease.” Anxious to get things moving, Dean spread his legs farther and leaned more weight on his arms across the surface of the table.  
Eyeing his brother’s entrance, Sam shook from the desire to get in there right fucking now. He spread the perfect globes in front of him and leaned closer. The tip of his tongue teased the skin around the opening a few times before actually delving inside. As badly as he wanted to get right to the fucking, he could sit here on his knees all day and listen to the sounds he could draw out of Dean with just his tongue. The echo in the large room just made them better. But even shoving his tongue as far inside as he could, Sam couldn’t reach that small bundle of nerves that would set of a series of shudders through the body in front of him. Pulling back, he traced the rim with the tip of his tongue and eased his finger inside. The instant his finger found the right spot Dean’s body jerked so hard the table actually moved an inch or two. With a smile, Sam moved back and re-entered the other man with two lubed fingers.

Any coherent thoughts Dean might have had were gone. The anticipation of being split open on that large cock was only heightened by the fingers reaching inside him. A hard press on his prostate and he smacked his forehead on the table. The burn of a third finger was soothed quickly by another hard press that made his back arch. “Son of a bitch, c’mon, Sammy.”

With a smile, Sam pulled away from his brother. The half growl-half whine that escaped him echoed, and it brought a laugh out of the younger man. Standing, he smacked his brother’s ass and waited for him to stand up and turn around. He nudged Dean against the table and pushed him back to sit on it, dropping to his knees.

Before the older man could even take another breath, his dick was halfway down his brother’s throat and all he could do was scream.  
With a moan, Sam, gripped the base of his cock to hold off until he was inside his brother. When Dean’s body tensed, he knew it was almost too late. Wiping the spit from his chin with the back of his hand, he used the other hand to push Dean to lie on the table.  
Obeying, Dean tried to convince his body that waiting would be worth it. Every muscle was demanding he give in, and if his balls got any heavier, they’d pull him off the table. When his body started to slide, he grabbed for the edges of the table until he realized that Sam had a hold of his thighs and was pulling him to a better position.

Lining up, Sam eased himself into his brother. His arms strained when he pulled the other man up off the table to change the angle, but he only got a few inches in before he moved back gently.

“Oh, son of a bitch!” Dean squirmed and tried to impale himself, but the hands holding him weren’t giving him any room to move. Back inside, but not nearly far enough before pulling out again. “Sammy, please! Goddammit!”

That seemed to do it for the younger Winchester. Getting a better grip on his brother’s thighs, he shoved in to the hilt and nailed Dean’s prostate hard.

“Jesus Chr-“

Sammy hit it again.

“Fuck!”

Not giving Dean the chance to do anything other than make noises that pushed every button he had, Sam adjusted his grip again and gave in to his desire to fuck his brother senseless. Neither of them noticed, but the table was shifting with every thrust. Books fell, the laptop ended up hanging precariously on the edge, but Sam continued to drive into his brother as hard as he could. He wasn’t going to last another thirty seconds and he knew it.

“Come on…” He grunted. “Grab…. Oh Christ……”

Through the haze of every nerve in his body screaming, Dean understood and grabbed his own dick, jerking to the punishing rhythm Sam was setting.

Ten seconds and it was over. Dean arched his back so hard he almost pulled his legs out of his brother’s hands and it felt like his orgasm came from his head and his toes. When the muscles clamped down on Sam’s cock, he felt like he was exploding inside the older man. Stumbling, he managed to pull Dean closer as the tremors raced through both of them. Nearly matching noises that were a cross between moans and actual keening bounced off the walls as they both came so hard they almost fell.

Sam’s knees threatened to give out and he eased the older man up onto the table before pulling out and leaning with his hands on either side of the panting figure.

“Holy shit.” Reaching up, Dean wiped some of his come off Sam’s chin. “Feels like I’d have hit the ceiling if your face hadn’t been in the way.” He chuckled. “And your chest, your hair, your-“

“I get it.” He wiped a hand through the come on his chest and stared into Dean’s eyes when he licked his finger.

“Gonna fucking kill me, you know that?”

Laughing, Sam forced himself to stand and get a safe distance away before counting off on his fingers. “Stay. Sit. Roll over. Beg.” With a smug grin, he left his brother lying on the table and headed for the shower. “Woof!”

The parting shot was the mistake. Dean forced his legs to cooperate and chased after his brother.

“Smug bastard.” Echoed through the batcave just before a crash and a loud yell.

 

[PART 5](http://jasmineisland.livejournal.com/25551.html)   



	5. Reading Into The Past Part 5

By the time Charlie got back they had showered, cleaned up the mess in the library, and were sprawled on the sofa watching TV. Well, Dean was watching TV, with Sam’s head resting in his lap while he slept.

“Safe in there?”

Dean could tell she was smiling. “Yeah.” He tried to keep his voice down, hoping Charlie would take the hint and not wake up his sleeping brother.

When she entered, she stopped and grinned. “Adorable. Like a big St Bernard puppy.”

“You have fun?”

“I always have fun. Food’s in the kitchen when you’re ready.” Charlie claimed a chair and curled up in it. “You guys look like you had a good day, too.”

“Had its ups and downs.” His fingers idly played with the thick dark hair on his leg while he spoke. “We were both so wrong about a lot of things.”

“But you’re here. Playing with his hair instead of yanking it out.”

“He yanks it out I’ll end him.” Sam’s voice halted the conversation.

Laughing, Dean gave the hair a playful tug. “He’s a little paranoid after a Nair incident when we were kids.”

“Nair incident?” Charlie nodded.  “That’s a….. diplomatic name for it, I guess.”

It was still weird to the Winchesters that Charlie knew so much about them. Sitting up, Sam leaned his head from side to side to loosen up the muscles. “I heard something about food?”

“Kitchen.” Charlie stood and they followed her to the promised dinner.

While they sat at the table, Charlie scanned her email. “Holy Frak!”

“Trouble?” Sam was concerned.

“Opposite. Major news from a friend. Convention coming up in a couple days in Tulsa. Not a really big one, so I wasn’t planning on going. BUT, there are rumors floating about the possibility of some classic LOTR collectibles going up for sale. You know, limited edition Balrogs, Ringwraiths, maybe even a Cave Troll.”

“A Cave Troll? Really?” Dean shook his head. “Girl can’t live without one of those.”

“Is he always so snarky when he doesn’t know what you’re talking about?” Charlie glared at Dean while she asked Sam the question.  
“Pretty much.” Sam patted his brother’s head. “If it doesn’t have explosions and guns Dean doesn’t get into it.”

“You mean like Braveheart?” Charlie and Sam shared a laugh.

“Hey! We won, didn’t we?” Whining between bites, Dean shrugged.

“You gotta get a new speech, dude.” Sam winced when his brother kicked him under the table.

“Oh, reminds me. We need to get together a few days before the Mid Year Jubilee. Need to get a strategy together. I mean, the crown is at stake, here.” Charlie stared at them.

“Can’t let you lose your crown.” The older Winchester tried to look sincere. “I mean, the power, the glory, the chicks……”

“Damn straight! And stop trying to act like you don’t care. I’ve seen you fight.”

“It’s the fight he cares about.” Sam laughed. “Dean hates to lose anything.” To prove the point, Sam reached for the pizza on Dean’s plate and got a smack for his effort. “See?”

“Hands off, bitch.”

“Jerk.” Just for the sake of being a pain in the ass little brother he made another grab at the slice of pizza. Dean wasn’t going to give it up and soon it became a tussle for the food. Neither of them were small men and their chairs gave it up and flipped them over, but it didn’t stop them. Scooting away from his brother, Dean licked a long stripe down the pizza and grinned.

“Oh, like that will stop me now.” Diving for it, he took a bite that almost included his brother’s fingers.

“Goddamn, Sammy. I know I feed you enough.” Shaking his hand, he shoved the rest of the piece in his mouth. Fight over, they finally noticed Charlie was just staring at them.

“It’s a brother thing, right?” She reached over and dragged the box over to where they’d been sitting. “Two full pizzas left and you’re acting like the Federation and the Klingons before the treaty.”

“Principle.” They both answered, then laughed when Charlie rolled her eyes.

Sam stood his chair up and sat on it. “Dean would make a good Klingon.”

“Damn straight.” He reached for another piece.

“He used to spit in the soda and lick cookies to keep me from eating them.” Laughing, Sam moved to the fridge for more beer. “No wonder people called me the scrawny one.” As Sam opened the beers, Dean put a piece of pizza on his plate. He was going to make sure his brother ate it.

Handing Dean a beer, he took a drink out of his own and sat down. “Dean,”

“Not. One. Word. Or whine. Eat.”

“I’m done. Just wanted to aggravate you.” Sam shrugged, but Dean pushed the plate closer.

“Eat that one and I’ll let you have more beer.”

When the younger brother opened his mouth to argue, Dean leaned closer and stared at him. “Woof.”

That did it. Sam shoved most of the piece in his mouth and washed it down with the beer.

“Okay, then.” Charlie obviously didn’t get it, but it amused her.

Draining his beer, Dean moved his chair back and sighed. “The perfect dinner- time for pie.”

Shoving the pie over in front of Dean, the younger man smiled. “All yours, dude. I’m full.”

“You give me the nicest gifts.” Digging into the pie with his fork, Dean moaned at how good it was.

The next morning Charlie was up, packed, and hugging them goodbye just after sunrise. While Dean was cleaning up the last of the coffee cups and donuts they’d had for breakfast, Sam had disappeared.

With a soft curse, he headed to the library, where Sam was exactly where he suspected. In front of the laptop.

Reaching out to grip the broad shoulders, he leaned down. “You haven’t had enough of this?”

Sam shook his head. “Not reading the books. Looking through the posts asking for help. So far I have ten that are probably not our thing, two that might be poltergeists, and one that I need to do more research on the neighborhood, and one that I think is a spirit, but it hasn’t hurt anyone.”

And that was his little brother. Saved the world, suffered for it, and still looking for people to help. “We’re not gonna to do these ourselves, right?  I mean, creepy enough they read the stories of our lives, you really want to run the risk of finding another Becky?”

“We can always get Garth to send some other hunters to check it out. See what’s what.” He sifted through his notes. “I’m not wild about going to see these people, either, but we have to help them if they need it.”

Unable to argue, Dean pulled up a chair and looked at the screen. “How many are there?”

“About fifty.” He clicked through another one. Responding to the look his brother gave him, Sam closed the laptop and headed to the sofa.

Dean flopped down at the end, and it wasn’t ten seconds later he had Sam’s head in his lap. Neither of them would ever admit it, but Sam had just as much a thing for Dean playing with his hair as Dean did for playing with it.

The news was boring, and Sam lost interest quickly. Rolling over on his back, he closed his eyes, just enjoying the feeling of Dean’s fingers running through his hair.

The older man kept one hand in Sam’s hair and the other traced the sharp cut of muscle that made up his brother’s chest and stomach. For a while, Sam was perfectly happy to sit back and enjoy the attention. Dean teased him for how tactile he was, but the truth was, he’d learned it from the hours upon hours of that very position in the back of the Impala. And the way Dean had always showed his affection by touch and actions instead of words. If Sam really thought about it, maybe that was the whole reason they were the way they were. Dean would squeeze his shoulder, ruffle his hair, touch him a thousand different ways when he was growing up. The way he defended Sam, looked after him, made sure he ate, had time to do his homework, learned whatever skill Dad insisted he learn, and made sure he was okay. That was how Dean had shown love. Sam had never been given the opportunity to take care of Dean. Dean rebuffed attempts to return the attention, so Sam had turned to words. He told his brother how he felt. Words just weren’t Dean’s thing. At least until now. Dean had actually said the words and that meant everything to Sam. He hadn’t even been dying at the time.

“What are you smiling at?” Dean’s voice was teasing.

“Just thinking.”

“’bout?”

“Us.” Lifting his arm, he took the hand that was caressing his chest.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look this….. settled?”

Hazel eyes opened and stared directly into Dean’s so there would be no mistake. “The word is happy, Dean.”

Dean grinned at him. “Me, too, Sammy.”

Sitting up, Sam turned so he could reach his brother. Their lips met softly, but it quickly grew heated and Dean pushed the younger man to stand up. With a smile that seemed to light up the room, Sam turned and headed for the bedroom.

For a moment, Dean stood and watched him walk away. Sammy was happy, and Dean was glad that he was the one that could do that. Taking two steps, he stopped short. It suddenly hit him. THEY were happy. They had a home, each other, and that was more than he’d ever hoped to have at 35. Hell, four years ago, if anyone had suggested that he would be in a monogamous sexual relationship- much less with SAM, he would have laughed. Oh yeah, those books made people think just that. Apparently an outsider could see what took them twenty-nine years to figure out. He smiled to himself. Maybe he was right before. If they’d had sex with each other before any of the angels and demons got their claws in, things would have been different.

When he hit the bedroom door, Sam’s voice stopped him.

“What took you so long?”

“Just ‘cause I’m not runn-“ His train of thought completely jumped the tracks when he saw his brother. Already naked, he was literally sprawled over almost the entire bed, his hand slowly jacking his own dick and his eyes a sliver of hazel around completely blown pupils.  
When his brother approached the bed, Sam spread his legs, planting his feet in an open invitation to climb right up between them. Knowing Dean wouldn’t be able look away if the batcave fell down around them, Sam continued to move his hand up and down his hard and leaking  cock, but now the other reached down and gently rolled his own balls in his palm.

Dean’s eyes tracked both hands with laser focus. He knew it was coming even before the hand holding those balls slid down lower. When two of those long fingers disappeared into his brother’s body, he almost lost it right there. The sounds that Sam made while he alternately rocked up into his hand and back down on his fingers sent shivers through the older man’s body. When his body stopped moving, Dean looked up at him.

“Not gonna make me do ALL the work, here are you?” There was that shit eating grin again.

“Smug bastard.” The older Winchester growled the words even as he stripped and climbed up on the bed.

“That’s almost as nice as Sammy.” Grinning, Sam used the hand that was holding his dick to reach up and pull his brother down. “Makes me think I have something to be smug about.”

“Asshole.”

“Yeah, and the sooner you get your dick in it the sooner we- Oh fucking Christ!” Sam’s body arched when Dean shoved one of his own fingers in with both of his and hit his prostrate.

Dean continued to thrust their fingers into that spot until Sam was writhing on their fingers and he was right on the edge. Then, with grin, he pulled their fingers out and reached for the lube.

“And you call ME the smug bastard.” Still panting, he could barely put the words together.

The older Winchester sat up on his knees and slowly coated his now throbbing cock with lube. The sight of Sam’s jaw literally hanging open at the sight of him made him smile.

The way Dean smiled at him made Sam shiver. The emotions running through him were enough to throw him over even before he felt his brother breach his outer muscle.

With once swift movement, Dean bottomed out and hissed at the sensation. After a few seconds, he felt the hips under him arch up and took that as he was ready. Leaning down to kiss his brother, he pulled out and drove back in twice rapidly. Sam broke the kiss to whine when he stopped, and Dean moved his mouth to his brother’s neck. Sharp bites dragged yelps out of the younger man and he bit down again before he resumed thrusting.

It was hard, quick, and so intense that Sam couldn’t even manage to form Dean’s name when he came so hard he nearly whited out. His muscles clamped down, and if he could hear above his own heart pounding, he would have marveled at the sounds coming from his brother just before the warm heat spread inside him.

For a few minutes, they were both content to lie there, trying to catch their breath. Finally Dean pulled out and rolled over. Reaching for the shirt next to the bed, Sam cleaned them up and laid back down on his back.

“Is there going to be a time we aren’t going to wanna fuck each other’s brains out every time we look at each other?” Dean was still short of breath.

“I hope not, but probably.” He was surprised when Dean’s head ended up on his chest, but he wrapped his arm around the older man and continued. “But there won’t be a time I don’t wanna tell you I love you every time you look at me.”

The head lifted. “Emo bitch.” Green eyes stared into his.

Sam smiled. “Always, jerk.”

The head dropped back down. “Love you too, Sammy.”

 

End


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